Tags
A curbed thought, Analogy, Backfire, Brain, D'VersePoets Pub, emptiness, Empty mind, going backwards, idea, Lack of creativity, living organism, Mental decay, Metaphor, nerve endings, Open Link Night, Working of a mind
Image credits: Joane@DeviantArt
A stray notion
that once wandered freely
Now wrought
Heavily fraught
by the gravity of ennui
A zealous nerve
that once was a messenger
Now slain
With disdain
into an untraversed groove
A living cell
that once housed purity
Now stranded
Brutally branded
as a chamber of disgrace
A solemn mind
that once was a monastery
Now invaded
Slowly pervaded
by a flood of toxic nihility
**Posted for the second week of OpenLinkNight at d’VersePoets Pub! Check it out, link in your poem, and have fun!! **
Very inventive, a song of loss, and yet its cleverness brings a smile. A perfect opening for a night at the pub, beautiful Kavita. Enjoyed it very much.
Thanks a heap, Gay! You must know how EXCITED I am at linking in first at OneLinkNight! Hurrraaaayyyy! And happier that you liked this poem so much….
xoxoox
Oh, very deep, dark and …. sad.
You bet! I was so thoughtless and blank, that this was all I could come up with.. in memory of my muses (that seem to never wanna come back.. BOOHOOOOOO 😦 )
wow… very strong work… love the detailed imagery. nice!
thank you, Anthony… your comment gave me a ray of hope in this tunnel of blankness…REALLY! THANK YOU so much!!
A very smart write!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee… thanks, Mama Zen!! You are a very kind lady, ya know…
Quite a haunting and powerful work. Well written.
Thanks for the kind words of appreciation here, Aaron.. I am glad you liked this piece..
whew…this is like a slow descent into hell kavita…kept getting deeper with each stanza…scary place to be…but makes for a great write…
You couldn’t have analyzed this any better, Brian.. cuz that’s exactly what I meant while writing this poem too… besides, I was in that state of mind while writing it (no thanks to the vacationing muses… you know what I mean, don’t ya?!) grrrr
Very powerful words and imagery… thanks for writing and sharing this ~
thank YOU for liking this one, Heaven… I am glad you did…
Intriguing look into the dark deep we call our minds. Congrats on being first! 🙂
The mind is quite a maze.. isn’t it ? Forever filled with little snapshots of thoughts floating about… whhhewww!!
Thanks for your words here, Joanne.. glad you liked this poem..
Why do I ask…”Are you happy?”…But I think you are! I am! I’m happy to read such a good and meaningful string of words to start of tonight-at-the-pub. Hope they serve ice cream sundaes, or chocolate malted milk shakes!
Aww.. thanks for asking, Steve… and to answer you, I am actually very happy, but saddened by the fact that my muses are vacationing and are not even thinking of coming back to me… BOOHOO!! And hence this poem…
As for our favorite pub, I am SURE they serve all the goodies you mentioned too! 🙂
this is great Kavita….a theme that runs throughout the world and especially among young women…a powerful piece of work…bkm
Thank you, Barbara dear… bad thoughts and BLANKNESS seem to be flowing alternatingly in my mind for a few days now… hence this poem.. 😦 Glad you liked it, my friend… that kinda gives me some hope… whew!
Wow deep meaning in many ways. As we can make a hell of our own creation born pure, flooded with all the toxicins as we decay. Another wonderful one, liked the darker trip this time.
THANK YOU, Pat!! Yea, we (and ONLY we) are responsible for the toxicity that we induce in our own minds… and sadly, we seem to be pretty good at that… grrrr
This poem is a result and a tribute to that same ill-feeling-part resting of us…
I’m glad you liked how this poem turned out, Patt… thanks.. And I REALLY mean it!
ah, song of colours to my ears… liked the way you put this up.. and the ending was adorable!(:
thanks for the poem.
thank YOU, Kelvin! Your words here chimed in my mind’s eye… made me feel really good….yaaayyy!
I hope god never gives such life to anyone and I thought I was having a sad week.. Thiss one is scary.
Why such thoughts biba ji.
That mind of mine often gets plagued with weird thoughts, Bikram… especially when inspiration seems to be sitting on an island really really far away… 😦
I read your post about your dad… I was so paled by it, that I just dinno what to write… sometimes, even the verbally diarrheal me falls short of words… and your post was one such moment.. 😦
Me and my (better) thoughts are always with you, my dear blogging buddy!!
Indeed and inventive poem…looks like your muse was just inspiring you in a different way.
Oh..thank you, Charles… you know, it’s very kind and thoughtful of you to say that… I guess “different” is the right word for how my muses are treating/inspiring me right now… I think I have offended them in some way… no wonder they are so cross with me! 😦
Gorgeous line Kavita “Heavily fraught
by the gravity of ennui”
A gracious bow for that kind comment, Laura… it’s my personal favorite too! I am glad you liked it so much!
xoxoox
AKA Tom Eliot:
This is a breath steeler.
Danke.
Ooooohhh… I take that as a tremendously huge compliment, Tom… thank you!
I love the flow on this one. The last stanza is my favorite, especially the final line: “a flood of toxic nihility.” Great write!
Woohoo!! Thank you, Steve!! Nothing uneven about that comment…. 🙂 Glad you liked the poem, my friend…
The rhythm matches the tone of the words and phrases exactly.
Glad you liked the combination, zongrik… thank you for your kind words…
Wow. That is deep. Life can get rough when one harmful thought prevails.
you can say that again, babes!
Wow. That is deep. Life can get rough when one harmful thought prevails. Beautiful poem.
Oh.. thanks a bunch, Rachel… and yea, you are so right… one horrid thought is enough to spoil the smooth flow of life…grrrr
I really like the picture, and your poem is nice and dark. You use strong words, and I think everyone can relate to missing that inspiration from time to time.
Sadly, I think everyone can relate to this one.. although I HOPE no one does! Cuz it’s a horrid feeling.. no?
But I am glad you liked this one as a poem, Lori.. thank you….
You draw a vivid inner landscape–it could cover all kinds of mental states that start small and end up corrupting the whole. Lovin the rhyme and language, too. esp liked “…A solemn mind
that once was a monastery…” Cool one, Kavita.
Well said, Joy! It sometimes takes only one bad apple to rot the others in the basket.. 😦 A thought has similar features attached to it, I suppose…
But yes, THANKS A BUNCH for liking this poem, my dear friend… you and your amazing works are a constant source of encouragement and inspiration to me…
sad and intense.
and I take that as a compliment here, Ayala.. thank youuuu!!
xoxoxoxoxo
Dark and layered….could go into many directions, but the one your chose reflects such depth.
I felt this one needed to be read repeatedly.
Lady Nyo
I really think I had dark (And unpleasant) thoughts in my head while writing this one, Lady Nyo… and I blame my muses (their disappearance really) for that! 😦
But really, you saying that you liked this poem makes me feel a little better about the whole “uninspired” situation… thank you so much for that, my dear friend..
In addition to the depth of discovery in this piece, I drawn along by the clever insertion of rhyme in each verse. An all around exciting package, Kavita!
Yaaaaaaaaayyy… you noticed those rhymes! Thank you so much, Joe… I am glad you liked it all in here… but I must admit, it was a result of my being cross at my muses-on-vacation! 😦
Wow. You may believe that the muses have stopped speaking to you, but I suspect they have found a new language…
A new language, eh?! Whoa!! Now I would LOVE to think of it that way, ds.. thank youuuuuuuu… and I hope I understand this new language they are communicating with me in … whew!! (scared)
Kavita, this was devastating. Perish the thought! Hope this is fictional and… well, if it WAS fictional, I suppose you couldn’t have written it, duh. But life has a way of digging in and choking off the “soul supply” sometimes. Very effective poem, my dear, and one I hope never happens to you. You are too precious. Amy (Here’s a funny one)
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/rat-stabbin-heels/
Ohhh.. you wonderful person! You are so kind, Amy…
First, you are encouraging! Then, you are compassionate! Third, you are a well-wisher! Seriously, how much better can you get, girl!??!?!?!? Looooooove you!!!
And thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…. And as for my sadness, please ask my muses to return to me, will ya? Their disappearing act is the reason for my depression 😦
I love everything about this one:)
(blink blink).. thank you so much, sweetie… you are the bestest!!
xoxoxox
I liked this poem. It felt sad, but so beautifully written (as usual). 🙂
Aww… I am flattered, Janna… and humbled too…
MWAH!!!
Wonderful use of language. The last verse is epic.. 🙂 // Peter.
Sometimes a poet goes to a depth too deep… there’s always a way out. Look up!
Liked the contradictions, the change depicted in each stanza.
The composition and flow to this is absolutely gorgeous! Lovely write ~ Rose
This rings so true. Once something is changed or tainted, it is very hard, sometimes impossible, to return to the original beauty.
deep and dark kavita..
Someone is Special
“A flood of toxic nihility” – ouch. Now that’s a line. Dark, sad, layered…there is depth here, and cleverly executed depth at that. You may fear the muses have stepped out on vacation, but whether they have or haven’t, you still write lovely stuff my friend, so fear it not!
Alright Kavs!
When you do, you do it like no scope left.. how dark could it get?
The helplessness shaded with what happened and some faded memories of good times- isn’t that how it goes now?
A complete story in few words..
The image is mind blowing!
Hugs xoxox
The imaginary you created here is awesome…Nice
wow! I admit, it took me a couple of reads and a dictionary, but “wow!” what an interesting journey of –for lack of a better word– loss.
Powerful poem!