Tags
Art, Artificial, Bare expressions, Concealed emotions, Hidden meanings, Left to be interpreted, Magpie Tales, Make-believe, Metaphor, Modeled, Painting, Perfection, Sculpture, The dead life of individuals, Unnatural
Chiseled away
from the inside out
Until all that remained
Were vacuous statues
with puttied smiles,
voluptuous beauty
carved pride,
plastered perfection
and measured intention
… while what lay
on the ground below
Was a muddied pile
of discarded emotions,
charred heartbeats,
shattered desires,
powdered sensitivity
and smithereens of humility
**Despite the “sculpted” nature of this poem, I somehow felt that it fitted in with Tess’s Magpie prompt this week… I mean this was too much of a coincidence for me! So here I am, posting this poem forΒ Magpie Tales (Week 67)… I urge you all to check it out and see what the other writers/poets responded to this prompt! You will be amazed! **
shattered desires … I liked that expression! It goes perfect with my desires for storm tonight!
Aww… My dear sweet storm hungry summer gal… π
β€ β€ Luuurrrrrvvvv ya!!!!
This is a marvelous poem!
“measured intentions”….wow.
The stark difference in effect of the two stanzas are wonderful…..illustrative, and gutty.
I loved this poem, Kavita. It speaks volumes.
Hugs,
Lady Nyo
Thanks for the keen observation and the kind words of appreciation, Lady Nyo… these coming from you mean a great deal to me, my dear friend…
Many many hugs to you too!!
I rather like that phrase “shattered desires” also.
You won’t believe it, Charles.. I had originally written “shattered feelings”…and just before posting the poem, I made a last minute change, to “shattered desires”… it somehow felt more real!!
Glad you liked that phrase, my friend…
(hugs)
great piece Kavs..love these lines especially –
Were vacuous statues
with puttied smiles,
Oh..thank you, my dear friend Luke! Am really glad you liked those lines in particular… cuz they literally were the BASE MOLD for this poem… the rest of he poem actually spurred from these very lines I think.. (sigh)..
putty smiles and carved pride…fabulous images!
Aww..thanks, Susan dear!! I hope that knee’s better by now… π¦ It looks real painful in the picture! So painful, that I initially thought it was a nail-chipped finger π¦
Kavita, the puttied smiles, the whole sculptural reference of the first stanza, contrasted with the emotions, never seen but ever so real… this is amazing. I may go check out the Magpie prompt, but I already have so many! You did a wonderful job with imagery and imagination. Amy
Oh, and a less cynical view of creation, I did two, and thanks for posting one to your FB profile! I was very flattered!
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/creation-circles/
First of all, thanks for the fabulous comments, sweetie! And yes… do check out the mag prompt… sometimes, one picture is what you need to get the sleep brain cells jumping about! π Well, at least mine need it!
Now, THANKS for the permission to share your poem on my FB profile.. I did it cuz i totally loved that poem, and felt that others should read it too!!!! Yaaayyyyyy!! π
Absolutely loved the end line to this! Really tied the whole piece together perfectly. You have a lot of great imagery in this one!
hehehe.. thanks a ton, Mark… I whipped this up while seemingly watching TV.. can you beat that! And in a matter of 5 minutes maybe… I guess it was something I might have seen that must have prompted me to write this one… and the words just came to me.. whew!
Am VERY GLAD you liked it, my friend…
Beautiful written, Kavita
Peace,
Laz
Thank you so much, Laz… it’s so nice to see you here, my friend.. I am honored!
It perfectly fits the tone of the painting. Stunning write, Kavita.
Gee.. thanks for saying that, Thingy.. it means a heap to me, my dear friend…
xoxox
Amazing take on the prompt !!
very insightful π
Woohoo..thank you, Nimue dear…
Glad you liked it!!!
xoxoxo
Oh such a tragic tale.
Art should live on forever.
Nicely written Kavita
You can say that again, Richard.. Art should live on indeed.. and so should the feelings placed within that piece of art…
Thanks for the kind words, my dear friend… I am very pleased that you liked this one..
xxx
I can’t pick out a specific line that I especially liked, because I’d end up quoting the entire poem. I read this several times and liked that it could be taken literally – the destruction of an old painting as it is studied by modern folk. Or, I also read it as a symbol of society, or a stiff dinner party, or a work social gathering – where we are expected to be who we are not – empty and hollow while everything that makes us “us” is left behind.
Okay, I’m over-analyzing this, so I’ll just leave it at “great poem” π
Oh no, sweetie… you analyzed it perfectly!! Nothing “over” about it at all… cuz these are really the things I had in mind too, when I was writing this poem.. and I am glad you read it the same way too! It’s a huge compliment to me, really! And I sincerely thank you for that!
xoxooxox
To see beneath the veneer is not given to all – well done!
So true, Jabblog… we prefer to see and be satisfied with what our eyes see, and not what our minds see… a sad story… innit?! *sigh*
Glad you liked my poem though! π Thank you…
Damn girl, your words are so powerful, especially the second stanza. Damn, the words are almost echoing in my head. Well done Kavs, I think this is a real masterpiece! So much said with such few words. Brilliant!
Oh maaaaaaaaaannn.. I can see you really liked this one, Sonam… thank you!!! You comment made me sit up straight and respect every word you wrote here… all my sleep’s gone now! π
LOVED the vigor in your words, gal.. thank you sooo much!
doesnot that refliect life.. we reach a place and seldom think of stuff we left behind who we lost on way ..
Well said, Bikram… we achieve, and then we get aimless… not knowing how to appreciate that which we achieved… *sigh*
Beautiful imagery. I never thought of “shattered desires,/
powdered sensitivity/and smithereens of humility”. This made me think about the chips and pieces and powder left at the end of the making of a sculpture. Great image.
Hugs!!
YEEESSSSS!!! THAT was exactly what I had in mind when I was writing this, Cheryl… a sculpture – and the scarp and shards that’re left behind once the sculpture is complete…
SO GLAD you liked this poem, girl… once again, thanks again!!
MANY MANY HUGS!!
Wonderful piece. I loved how the two-part structure flowed in an arc. I enjoyed what this did to me emotionally but I can’t describe what that is.
hahahaha… and yet, I think I kinda got what you meant, Carl… and I sincerely thank you for such honest and heartfelt appreciation you’ve shown towards my poem here… it means a great deal to me!!
Amazing wordplay Kavita!
Each word sits perfectly with the image.. π
Loved it totally! xxxx
All I can reply with is, MWAAAHHZZZ!! Thank you so much, Liv!!! π
xoxooxoxox
This is one of my favourite interpretations of that image… deep and well thought out, and so true. And it made me think about how the most striking sculptures are often those that, when finished, show naked emotion on the face of something that is after all just a replica of a living thing; in contrast, in human sculpting, emotion is usually the first to fall under the knife. The stone sculptor chips away the extraneous to reveal the essence (that which makes something be, feel or come alive) of the image to be portrayed, while we chip away at our essence until we are left with only the extraneous (stone image of ourselves, as you suggest). Sad… but a wonderful poem!
So well described, Ruth dear… and who else could do that, but you!!!! There is sooooo much to a painting/sculpture than just the piece of art itself… and there is so much to life than just the achievement and glory…
I am really glad you liked this poem so much, my friend.. thank you ever so much for your insights/interpretations and your lovely words of appreciation….
This is tremendous! Bravo!
Anna :o]
Wowwiiieezz…thanks a heap, Anna!
a beautiful piece Kavita … as always…
Oooohhh.. thank you, Baishali… glad you liked the making of this sculpture.. oops, I mean poem! π
if someone were to create a sculpture of what society has become, over the centuries, your poem takes me to all that we have lost…when the sculpture was begun, it started from the inside out…once we are left with nothing but perfection, we so carefully sculpted to express that only what we see on the outside matters, we may be left with a lovely face to rest our eyes on, but there is nothing left behind the face…we have lost touch with who we are and most importantly the fragments of our heart lay shattered on the ground…
your vivid descriptions allow my imagination to run rampant and your poem begs for me to read it again in hopes that we’re not too late to find get in touch with our hearts…
beautifully written and very well thought out…a very sensitive and creative look at our lives today, and the echoes from the past…
You have interpreted my poem in exactly the same way I had written it with, Janice.. and I cannot thank you enough for that!
Now let’s just hope that the world we live comes to its senses .. and soon too! What say?! Else we will all be walking-talking soulless statues..and THAT is a much scarier thought than the end of the world… no!?
Totally shattered and scattered. A sharp poem. Art ieally would live forever and dreams come true.
Thanks, Kavita!
Amen to that statement you made, J… Long live art…
Thanks for the encouragement, dear friend…
i love the expressive-ness of your writing…its so flawless
Woowww..thank you so much, Eva… so sweet and kind of you to say that!!
what a tease, aptly done..
Happy Writing…
Thanks, Ji…. π
eloquently done, exquisite art, wonderful write π
Whooooaaa!! That’s quite a heap of compliments, Jessica.. thank you so much, my friend! I really appreciate it!
Wonderful, as always! I especially like that you used nice “V” words like “vacuous” ;D
heheheh…glad you liked my choice of words in this poem, Christine… I have immense love for the English language, although I must admit, I don’t have a great vocabulary at my disposal… but I am trying π
Well put together. I love the tone of the piece. I’m happy I came across your work.
~Brenda
And I am honored you chose to reda my poem, Brenda.. thanks for the kind words…
What a fitting poem for that image. Good job!
Aww… thank you so much, Madeleine!!! π
‘smithereens of humility’ – a loud, vast explosion of something generally perceived as delicate and subtle. It reminds me of the splicing of atoms – so tiny, yet so explosive. I love taking closer looks at works of art – searching for hidden things…this was a wonderful journey!
Oh woww, Aubrey.. I am deeply humbled by your words here…. and honored too! It pleases me to know that you really enjoyed reading this poem… thank you so much for the appreciation you’ve shown here, my friend…
xoxo
It’s frustrating how crumbly humility is… while pride stands all intact… i wish my pride was crumbled and my humility was more composed. xxxxxx
Amen to that, Catie… I echo your sentiments!! Thank you for your honesty here, my dear… it takes courage to even say what you said here… many just run away from it… π¦
No doubt about it, this is a wonderful piece of writing.
Chiseled away
from the inside out – those words had me instantly. Powerful stuff here – everything chiselled away leaving only remnants.
Aaahh… glad you liked this poem so much, Barbara.. thanks a heap for your kind and encouraging words here…
Hi Kavita
I really liked this, especially the second part, huge emotion here, very fine poem indeed. Thank you as well for your really supportive comment on my blog. I see you are on twitter, I will click the link to follow you. I am just on twitter a little over a week, so still finding my way, but if you wish to follow me, that would be great.
Aww…glad you liked this poem so much, Louise… thank you!!
Distinctive – as your work largely is – intriguing take on the photo.
Gee.. thank you so much for the positively encouraging critique… I really appreciate it!!
perfection! but when do you ever do anything less?
Aww…now now, Dani.. you are making me blush… π
Thank you sooo much, my dear friend..
dear kavita,
this was a fine poem and artistically written in such a simple yet stylized fashion. keep on writing.
Ohh.. thank you so much for the encouraging words, my friend… I really appreciate you stopping by my place, and offering your wonderful words here… thanks again!!