Tags
Bound, Chained, Dark, Distortion, Fiction, Imagination, Lack of freedom, Mirror, Multiple reflections, One Shot Wednesday, One Stop Poetry, Reflection, Regret, Rumination, Search for oneself, Tied in, Trapped in a mirror, Visage, Vision-chained, Void
Image credits: Mon artifice@DeviantArt
I stood there
Screaming
Dreaming
Trapped in my own reflection
Or was I the mirror instead?
Was I to get some response?
Or was this just a sconce?
I felt surrounded
Alone
Forlorn
Waiting for a reaction
From any “one” distorted figure
But all they did was stare
Their all-mercurial glare
I punched hard
Wildly
Blindly
So hard, my shadowed arm hurt
But the glass didn’t shatter
Nor could I step over my bound
Or beyond…
I am still gazing
Wide-eyed
Mystified
At the form that made me
But all I see is a void
A void that hears nothing
Feels nothing…Is nothing…
A void
To avoid…
**Posted for One Shot Wednesday (week 36) – THE place for poetry! Check it out, and indulge in the sublime bliss… **
PS: I have no idea why my fictional pieces are turning out so dark these days (maybe it’s due to excess watching of Criminal Minds – the TV series :))… I hope my writingย lightens up… soon! ๐
You write dark so well, its a good thing. I love writing dark pieces, helps release darkness inside.
Oh boy!!! Thanks, Paulo.. I have always wanted to be able to write good (decent enough) dark poetry… and your appreciation towards this poem today made me feel GREAT about I wrote… Thank you SO MUCH!!! And yes, fictional dark pieces helps fill some of those voids with a more open mind I guess ๐
I am really happy you liked this one, my friend…
xoxoxo
You present such a surrealitic dream here with such strong feelings of desperation..well crafted poem.
Whhheewww… Really, Charles…I am glad you liked this piece, my friend.. I was a little skeptical about how it might turn out… But after posting it, I kinda liked what I saw.. and now your comment here made me heave a sigh of relief..
Thanks a ton!!!
No doubt those voids must be avoided… but they are so beautiful when written about…
Loved this introspective piece, Kavita
๐
You bet, Dulce! Darkness does indeed make for a great muse ๐ Thank Goodness, this is fictional… whheew! ๐
But really, I am very happy you liked this piece, my dear… thank you so much for your appreciative and thoughtful words here…
This is very powerful and searching. Excellent.
Oh.. thank you so much for your appreciative words here, Anthony!!
May those dark spaces stay away from us…
you image and poem fit so perfectly together. You set the void setting so well in this Kavita – wow
thanks for sharing with One Shot today
Gee.. thanks for the encouraging words, Moonie dear… you really have a beautiful way of making my spirits soar!! I am glad you liked this one, lady..
And thank YOU for this amazing blessing called One Stop Poetry!
Love ya!!!
xoxoxo
very well written poetry.. loved it
Aww.. thanks a BUNCH, Anthony… am so glad you liked this one, my friend…
Very deep, I love the photograph too, sets the scene of being so torn, and lost. Kavita, you’re amazing!
Oh my, Shan!!! Now I am really blushing… thanks for your kind words here, my dear friend..
And that picture — yess… ALL cred”its to the AMAZING people at DeviantArt… (and some to me for patiently “hunting” for the picture perfect for this poem :)) I am so glad you liked the combination, S…
xoxoxo
Seems like a great basis for a sci-fi continuation; stuff I love reading. Very nice creative use of the prompt, Kavita.
LOL..Adam, the prompt was only inside my head ๐ And sci-fi eh? If X-files comes under (paranormal) sci-fi, then YES!! I LOVE IT !!! ๐
Glad you enjoyed this one, my friend.. You really gave me a new perspective on this poem… WOW!! Thank youuuuu…
The void—such a dark lonely place you captured so well. I couldn’t help not giggling at the end seeing all these people trying to avoid their voids.
hahahaha… you naughty girl ๐ Aren’t we all trying SO HARD to avoid a void?! ๐ Whhewww..
Glad you liked this dark one, my friend.. and thanks for your ever-encouraging comments here..
What a great pic!!!!!! Great post!!!!
Aww.. thanks a heap, L!!!
xoxox
Very interesting photo. The poem goes really well with it. Trapped witin ones self, a very interesting concept. A very well done poem. Thank you for sharing!
Oh.. thank you for the generous appreciation for my work, Corbie… it truly is invaluable to me! I am glad you liked the idea behind this, the words, the essence and the photo selection… once again, my sincerest thanks, my friend..
hey embrace that darkness kavita cause this is a smoking wirte…i tried to deny the darkness for the longest time but i think it helps us appreciate the light…
Whooaa!! Now you make me want to put your comment on a high pedestal, B!! Whheeeww! I was beginning to reason with myself about my affinity towards dark poetry.. but what you said here – the positivity in it – really makes me feel GOOD about what I wrote! Thank you soooooo much, my friend..
Your words here (and I really mean it!!) are INVALUABLE to me!! Thanks again, Brian!!
The image you presented and the work you’ve written put me in mind of A. Wyeth’s The Revenant for it is as though a spirit was caught in between the glass and its passage to someplace other, some world where our anti-selves live life in reverse. Beautiful in a terrible way. Gay
Oh my dear Gay… I AM FLATTERED!!! REALLY FLATTERED!! I simply cannot thank you enough for all the nice things you’ve said here about my poem.. I Googled A. Wyeth’s The Revenant, and now see EXACTLY what you mean!! I humbly bow to you, my friend…
I guess there is always a part of us (sometimes it’s a big part, and sometimes, a veeeeeeeeeery teensy one) that feels trapped between reality and illusion… this was just my attempt at bringing out that feeling of “being trapped”.. I am soooo glad (wrong word here, considering the context of the poem) that you liked this one so much..
Another powerful work Kavita. Your words held me spell-bound as if I looked into “the glass didnโt shatter”…and would have waited indefinitely until released by these words, “the form that made me.” This is haunting and you pour with such fluidity the next line, “but all I see is a void.” Oh, the depths of the human heart!
And your words leave me humbled, my dear friend… Each time you leave a comment here, I feel like my poem is once again understood that way I intended it to be… and what more joy than that for a newbie writer like me!!! Thank you so much, Tolbert..
Darkness, although frigid, makes for an amazing muse.. and poetry, an even greater mode of release…
I really appreciate your kind and most encouraging words here, T..
(many warm hugs)
Good, action-oriented/emotional lead up, with a great/sly finish.
Aaahhh… says the man of a few words! But words that say it all… Thank you so much, Steve…
This comment from you means a great deal to me!!
I really like this one Kavita–if someone told me they were going to rhyme sconce and response and make it work, I would have been dubious, to say the least, but you take that unlikely combination in stride and go on to illustrate just why it was the best choice. And a very strong, defining ending. Great job here.
hahahah.. and I take that as a compliment, Joy… In this poem, considering the context, somehow ‘sconce’ seemed to fit in perfectly!! And I really happy to see that you approve it too.. Really, that’s a lot of encouragement for me, my dear friend… Appreciative words coming from excellent writers like yourself, means THE WORLD to me!! I am honored, Joy…truly!
Thanks for everything…
Great imagery in this one, Kavita… I sense the empty, trapped, desperation she feels… well done as always…
Ohh.. I can always count on you for getting my poetry, H… you are ONE amazing person!! Thanks for your kind and appreciative words, my dear friend..
xoxo
What a very powerful poem, Kavita.
Thank you so much, dear Pam.. I am glad you liked this one…
This is so exquisite. When I first saw the image, before reading the poem, I saw the crucifixion. So much in these words and the graphics. You are amazing.
Oh …thank you, Victoria… I must thank DeviantArt for the amazing pictures!! And I sometimes am amazed at my own patience while looking the “right” picture for the words in my poem ๐ I am really happy you liked this poem-photo combination, my friend… I am humbled by your kind words for this dark piece..
interesting take on this form, this void “that made me”…that holds a whole world of philosophies……I love write that take the reader into the writers mind…thank you…bkm
Well, I am happy you liked this poem.. but now I am also worried that you got a peek inside my garbled head ๐
Thanks for your insights and most inspiring words here, Barbara.. I really appreciate it..
Wow, amazing work my friend. You had my undivided attention from beginning to end, loved this one!
Oh woowww!! I am HONORED, Nicole!! Thank you so much for your attention and your kind and appreciative words on this poem, my dear sweet friend…
REALLY HAPPY you liked it so much!!!
xoxoxo
‘I felt surrounded, alone..’ exactly how all of us feel so much of the time and try to fight against it.. the void is a truth. You have captured the emotions that all of us go through at one point or another, perfectly. It inspires me to create a photo to go with it..
Thank you for writing.
Oh yes, Dhaami.. we have all come across situations and times where we have felt all alone even surrounded by people! And situations where we feel surrounded by the voices of our own silence… And in this poem, I just felt like giving some credit to that aloofness.. those dark times… cuz I kinda believe that our dark sides (in some odd way) help us in seeing the better in us as well… Did I make any sense? ๐ Whheewww… But I know you got it anyway..
Thanks for taking the time to really understand the poem, Dhaami… I really appreciate it..
And when you do create a photo to go with it, can you PLEASE show it to me too? I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT!!
xoxox
Yeah.. I know what you mean. A rock needs to go through a blazing furnace to become a diamond. It’s the time in the furnace that is excruciating.
And I will definitely share it with you ๐
Aww… beautifully said, girl!! You are the best!!! Thank youuu ๐ EXCITED to see that picture already… hehehe
Kavita…I was really pulled into this piece from the very beginning…
“Trapped in my own reflection
Or was I the mirror instead?”
I love the mystical feel when I read.
I finally exhaled at the end…love this.
Whhheeewww… thank you so much for the total attention, Reggie.. I really appreciate it…
I am SO HAPPY you liked this dark piece, my dear friend… you are AWESOME!!
xoxox
Dark and emotional like some parts of the reality of life. I love it.
Gee.. perfectly stated, Theron.. sometimes, those dark sides too need some exposure… glad you liked this one, T.. thanks..
You’re coming up with a lot of dark poetry recently.
I like that because really i like the dark poetry.
Though if you do take requests. please write on about meadows, rainbows and rabbits.
Oh go on, just one poem
Pleeeeeease
As long as you like my dark poetry, I am happy, Richard! ๐ Thank youuuuuu (hugs)
Oh.. and usually, I don’t really take requests.. but since you are such a sweet soul (a darned funny one too), I SHALL DEFINITELY write on on meadows and rainbows.. ;).. umm .. okay, rabbits too ๐
Nightmarish!
Aloha from Hawaii
Comfort Spiral
>
>
Aww.. now now, Cloudia… snap out of this nightmare!! ๐ Life’s really very beautiful.. and this was just fiction ๐
I’m awfully fond of the dark – loved this!
Ooohhh… Red loves Dark.. I LIKE THAT!! ๐ Thanks a ton, girl.. Luv ya!!
xoxox
yes we gotta avoid the void. a perfect piece dearest Kavita. kind of a novel that has begun … ๐
Ooohhh… I am super glad (yikes… glad??? for this poem??? :)) that you liked this daaaaark piece, Dr. B .. (umm…I hope you don’t mind me calling you that…do you?)
But really, you keep encouraging me like this.. and that novel will indeed begin.. Bless ya, my friend!!!
And yes, beware of that void indeed… brrr..
xoxox
Wow Kavs!
I am blown away.. Sometime back I had written one on Void- but then that was no fiction. That’s how I felt then.. For a fiction (I hope this is) you have done a fab job!
That haunted feeling has come through.. So has feeling lost! I could hear the desperate cries lost in between the glass sheets even before it could travel out. Like vacuum, it surrounds you and builds itself up on you.
Loved this one like crazy. Whenever, check this out- http://oliviasmindlymatters.wordpress.com/2010/07/03/a-void-ance/
More xoxox
Ooohh.. and somehow, I am not reeeeally surprised that you liked this poem so much, Liv… ๐ It is dark, and dark is you!! mwaahhzz to you, lady!
But yes, this is fiction, and I am genuinely happy that you appreciate this poem so deeply… Will reads yours too, girlie… in a bit!!
I hope we stay in the clear, and not trapped within our own reflections..
You take care, Olz… xoxoox
Rhythm like a heart beat, and then flat line, well written ๐
Now I REALLY like that comment!! Very VERY happy you liked it so much, Apryl… Your comment is more than words can ever tell me!!
THANK YOUUUUU
xoxox
When the words come straight from the heart. The purity of the thought is so evident, so very lucid. With such a nebulous picture to go with, I can clearly see the entrapment of the mind that created this poetry. Poetry it is…Simply awesome
Gee.. hubby dear, you keep supporting me like this…that’s all I ever need..
You liked this one? I am glad…
But don’t you worry… I don’t stare at mirrors hoping to walk out of them.. ๐ I am insanely sane.. ๐
LOVE YOU LOADS!!
Super! Deep in the forests of Zendor, I came across a whirling creature, trapped by a multi-limped tree…
Mesmorising.
And you already have me swept in your words as soon as you said ‘forests’… ๐
Glad you were entranced by this dark one, K… Thank you ever so much for your AWESOME comments here.. I truly appreciate it…
xoxox
brilliantly paranoid ๐
hahah.. just the word i was looking for (but never really wanted to use in the poem ;))!
The dark side..yet it seemed there’s the hidden light… I could relate to the first two paragraph.. yeah, it is exactly the same way I am when I am in my dreams… Carved and shaped..it is indeed a void to avoid… ๐
Well said, Krislin.. there is indeed when and where we REALLY wish for it to be.. Dreams take us to the most inspiring places.. no?
Glad you enjoyed this piece if fiction, my friend.. thanks for your insights and kind words..
“or was I the mirror instead”…so hard to know the answer…perhaps both…perhaps we are our own mirrors.
I knoowww… it is indeed difficult to differentiate at times, Laura..
But you are probably right.. we are what we are.. and hence our own mirrors too…
Thanks for your invaluable insights here, my dear.. I really appreciate it..
xoxo
Gobsmacking image – you’ve knocked me off balance.
Whoaaa!! Hold on to that that thread of light, David… it will bring the earth back under your feet ๐
Glad you enjoyed this one, D… and yes, that image is AWESOME (all credits to DeviantArt)!
had to read through a couple of times to get the entire picture straight. haunting, kavita!
Oooohh… I take “haunting” as a compliment here, Kim… thank you ever so much!
And I sincerely hope reading this one wasn’t too tough.. (I mean, literally/technically)…what with that image and all!
A dark and ultimately resonant poem….almost a nightmare. The last line is stunning.
Lady Nyo
You saying so makes me feel GREAT about this poem, Lady Nyo (despite the darkness :)).. thank you for your kind and thoughtful words…
But I hope that this darkness never finds its way in your life, my dear…
Love and Best wishes!
this was powerful and great…and deserving of so many comments..going on my tweet out list..cheers pete
Gee.. thanks a ton, Pete! Glad you liked this dark one… And I am honored that you thought it good enough to get to your tweet list.. much grateful to you, P!!
xoxo
Sleep punching could be painful – especially to the person sleeping next to you.
A wild write, Kavite!
Sleep punching is okay of the other person is snoring away to glory, Eric.. heheh ๐
Glad you liked this wildly dark write, E… and thanks for your every positive comments… keep ’em coming!! ๐
xoxox
Disturbing…which I believe hit the mark here.
(and Criminal Minds rocks!)
Oh yea, Raven… it hit the mark alright! ๐ “Disturbing” is indeed the PERFECT compliment for this one… cuz that’s exactly how the character in this poem must be – or so I think..
And yes.. Criminal Minds ROCKS!!!! ๐
brilliant poem once again
Thanks a zillion, Rida… you are a darling!!
xoxox
Is it unreasonable to expect others to co-sign the me I made?
Oh.. I don’t know, Sam.. but who cares! ๐ I would LOVE for someone to cosign my me… even my own reflection would do really! ๐
P.S. I like the quandary you pose.
Aww.. thanks, S… glad you like it… help me find the solution too…will ya? ๐
I really like the ending!
Oohh.. thanks a heap, MZ!!! SO GLAD you did…
No voids for us, eh?! ๐
Whoa, what a journey you take me on! I want to avoid that void! You do this SO well!
Aww.. thank you so much, Belinda… Really, your words of appreciation here are absolutely invaluable to me, sweetie!!
Enjoy the journey, dear.. and yes.. stay away from those voids.. but if they do come your way, then like Brian has said, embrace them..for they’ll guide you to light too…
So hard, my shadowed arm hurt ~
s u r r e a l ~
Loved how you ended it too…
p.s. I have often wondered that about criminal minds too…
Gee… thank you so much, Sarath.. glad you likedthis dark one..
Oh, and by the way, i just LOVE Criminal Minds!! ๐
This is really special. So far I think this is my favorite by you – though I know there will be plenty more. I don’t see it as dark but rather inspired from an enlightened place within you. The masters speak of the void that is all. I wonder if indeed there is nothing left once we peel off all the layers of
self and discover Self to be an empty space. Great work Kavita.
Whheww!! I am flattered, Myrna.. honestly!! A humble thank you, my dear, for all your kind words of encouragement and appreciation… it’s a treasure to me!
And you are right… it is this darkness that makes us aware of our “self”, in part and in entirety… your thoughtful words have left me wondering, my friend… that if peeled, will we too be just an empty space? and when we get there, will we be “complete”? Thanks again for your immensely profound thoughts here, Myrna… I truly appreciate it..
xoxo
I think you have captured the torment so many suffer. This is so full of emotion: isolation, desperation, fear, hopelessness, sadness. Very effective, Kavita. I felt it.
Ohh… I am honored – to say the least – that you liked this poem, Patti… Thank you so much for your thoughtful words here…
Much appreciated, my dear friend…
xoxoxo
This was creepy, but I really like it. I think it’s going to haunt me.
And, I just awarded you the Versatile Blogger Award on my blog: http://lizbethsgarden.wordpress.com/2011/03/09/versatile-blogger-awardinternational-womens-day/
Oh gee… it sure was creepy, my dear.. ๐ Glad you liked it though… I hope it doesn’t disturb you.. much.. ๐
And yaaaaaaayy!!! Thank you so much for the award.. this is so coool!! I am honored, L…. You ROCK, girl!! (hugs)…
A very happy women’s day (albeit slightly belated) to you toooo!!
xoxoxo
The ending few lines are amazing. I really love word play in poems. Such as A void to avoid. It is great!
Okay… I can SWEAR that I was sitting with fingers crossed that YOU, of all people, mention this, Mark! About the “A void to avoid” thing, I mean!! I looked at it also as “a void to a void” ๐
YOU MADE MY DAY, my friend!! Thank you so much!!
(double hugs)
to feel this way, as many do, is a nightmare. It was creepy… nice write.
Aahh..thankfully for me, as was writing it, it was fiction.. But I think I have felt like this myself… a few times..
Glad you liked this creepy one, M.. thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words..
I like the form you have made, with the short second and third lines – it’s very effective. Dark and mysterious. The image adds the finishing touch.
Violet
http://vnesdolypoems.wordpress.com
Ohh.. I am very happy you liked those single-word lines, Violet… they were my favorite too! I think I am beginning to have some kind of affinity towards dark poetry.. ๐ It would be interesting to watch how long it lasts.. ๐
Thanks for your visit and for your thoughtful words here… I really appreciate it… And yes.. the image is indeed a beauty… all credits to the awesome artists at DeviantArt.com ofcourse ๐
Thanks again, my friend…
Kavita….
Criminal Minds is THE darkest and creepiest
show on TV…Be careful…..hehehehehe
(Your writing is just fine)
Bwaahahaha (evil laugh).. Galen, I am actually watching Criminal Minds RIGHT NOW.. and reading this comment really brought a HUGE smile to my face…
But yes, I will be careful ๐
Thanks for your superb comments always, my dear Mr. G!!
I hear ya. Like a video camera pointed at the TV it’s connected to.
Hah!! That’s THE best analogy EVAH!!!! (a speechless me staring at this comment :))
(holy bow for this one, K)
I liked that a lot, especially the ending.
Oooohh… thanks a heap, Madeleine!! Avoiding the voids..aren’t we now?! ๐
Glad you liked this poem so much!!
Whoa girl! this is super dark and super amazing! I really love how you’ve brought out that trapped feeling. Too good! One of your best by far!
Whhhewww!! And you read this at last! Gosh.. I WAS WAITING YOU HERE!! ๐
And am glaaaaaaaaaaaaaddd you liked this dark one, girl.. I dunno.. After writing it, I just felt that I GOTTA show it to you…
AND NOW, it feels complete… THANKS TO YOU!!!
I totally loved this .. the image was sure winner for the words !!
hehehe… glad you like the pic-poem combo, Nimue! Thanks a bunch!!!
xoxoxox
Well written and expressed, you cannot have light without dark ๐ it is good to have a balance of both, I love to write dark poetry. ๐
Anita.
haha..well said, Anita ๐ It’s always nice to have a good balance of the good and the bad :)…
Glad you liked this dark piece, my friend… thanks for your kind and thoughtful words here…
And guess what!?! I love read and write dark poetry.. So, yaaayyy to us!!!
xoxox
Wow! I felt the energy from your words. Tremendous!
Ohh… thank you for the super-charged comment, enreal… it was just what I needed to see!! So happy you liked this dark one, my friend…
(many hugs)
Very powerful and tragic. Well done!
Kavita, your poem reminded me of a dream state, trying to punch yourself out of it into reality, as though reality should make sense, then doesn’t.
Aahh…well said, Joanna.. sometimes, that’s EXACTLY how we feel in dreams..but we when wake up into reality, somehow, nothing makes senses even then…
I am honored and very happy that you liked this poem, my friend.. thank you so much for your insights and thoughts words here… much appreciated, my dear…
xoxox
i’m sure i’m going to be repeating everyone else, but ~
wow! this is amazing! i love it!
“Trapped in my own reflection
Or was I the mirror instead?”
brilliant!
Gee… Dani, now I am really bushing… (blinking and batting my eyelids)
Thank you for your kindness, sweetie!! Really, I am humbled…
As for the reflection… well, thankfully for me, I see what I am ๐ (no confusion there.. hehehe)
Am glad you liked the poem so much, my dear girl…
I enjoyed the darkness in this verse… your imagery is great.
เฅ เคจเคฎเค เคถเคฟเคตเคพเคฏ
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/whispers-memories-from-living.html
At Twitter @VerseEveryDay
Oh my my!! Thanks a ton, Shashi… it’s very kind of you to say that.. I have always liked dark poetry.. but have kept wondering if I could actually write it! But your saying so is a lot of encouragement for me, my friend… I really appreciate it..
xoxo