Tags
Alone, Beaten, Dreadful, Dumped, Heartbreak, Helpless, Loneliness, Lost, Love lost, Miserable, One Shot Wednesday, One Stop Poetry, Sad, Sneered at, Uncomplaining
Image Credits: thegirlinthebigbox@DeviantArt.com
Ready to crumble
Yet never a grumble
She greets passers-by
That cast at her a sigh
Vacant smile on her face
Chewing on a patch of lace
She strays yet another mile
Love to her is now just bile
Heart crushed
Emotions slushed
Her spirit battered
And misery splattered
Feelings bottled inside
In vain she tries to hide
And courses empty streets
Playing at weathered pleats
Under a happy veil
Lies her skin too pale
The eyes mascara caked
Cheeks and forehead raked
Long gashes running through
Whose depth in time just grew
Her silken hair turned to matte
Flat and limp like some soiled mat
She now awaits a change in trend
Where the road ahead’ll say ‘Dead End’
**Written for One Shot Wednesday… A place where poets meet and share… check it out and indulge in the awesomeness! ๐ **
What sadness! but wonderfully written. The emotion came through wonderfully and the imagery is greatly vivid. A job well done indeed. Bravo dear!!
Eeee…thanks for the appreciation, my dear Tekia… I really am grateful for that!
Thankfully for me though, this poem was just fiction.. whheew!
Powerful and emotional. Yet it flowed beautifully. Excellently done.
Thank you so much, Anthony.. your comments here are most appreciated…
Emotional, I also liked the way your stanzas widened as if maybe leading to a happy ending, but you took us down a dead end. Very clever!
Aww… did I just give you false hope here, Shan?!?! ๐ฆ
But I am happy you liked how it turned out, my dear… thanks for showing your appreciation here… it means a great deal to me!
you would think that I would be use to your amazingness ๐ … it’s always lovely to read your poetry! You paint a beautiful picture. I wish when i posted pics with my poems i could do alongside the poem instead of always first… humm…
great joby my blogginf friend:)
You know, L… I am sure you can still do that! I mean, post pix alongside your poem instead of on top! But then again, it depends on the length of the lines…and bla bla too… (sigh)
Anyway, thanks for your kind words here, darling… Your continued support and appreciation towards my work makes me feel very proud and nice about everything around here….
Loadsa hugs!!
I can feel the sorrow and dispair in this character. Such sadness for her former self transforming to the present.
Ack!! Imagination and fiction can go a long way…
Sorry for having rubbed on the darker side of life, Paulo…
Hope you liked this read though…
Kavita, this reminds me of a young woman I know. Even the picture! She has been crushed by love before and seems to attract men who are bound to break her heart. My hope is that, as Tom Waits wrote, “the heart that has been broken/will be stronger when it mends.”
This was lovely and sad and heartfelt. Good work, my friend!
Amy BL
OH dang!!! To me, this was fiction, Amy… But to think of someone going through this, is quite terrible…
I hope your friend is fine, and is getting back to her life now…
Thanks for sharing your feelings, kind words and insights here, my friend… I really appreciate it…
Like how the subject seems to play with material (various fabrics) as if out of nervous habit while putting on airs to face the world. Your meaning seems to parallel the wordplay of your lines, which renders a nice effect. Great image too. Think I need to explore DeviantArt more : )
Glad you could see the fine details, and the connection between the stanzas in the poem… thanks for the appreciation, Adam..
And yes, DeviantArt is simply amazing!!! It has become my prime source of images.. I hope I can contribute to it some day myself…
A woman defined by sadness – good job embodying heartbreak here, Kavita. It really read like a funeral, like a woman watching her husband being lowered into the ground…but then, really, aren’t breakups a touch like funerals? All grim hearts and downcast faces, pondering whether life and love can really go on…Valentine’s Day one day, and the next, such vivid despair…timely little powerhouse here!
Oh yess!! I am almost “glad” (wrong word here though) that you saw the timeliness of this poem, Chris! While I was posting it, that’s exactly how I thought about it too!
And you are so right about the funeral analogy for a break-up! They both suck!!
Well… it’s nice to see good words about such a sad/dark poem too.. thanks a ton, my friend…
Bountiful sadness, as mentioned in another comment, but achingly expressed. Could be my mood but the spirit of the poem stayed with me after reading. Great poem.
crb.
OUCH!! That’s not a good thing, CRB… I hope the mood set by this poem doesn’t stay with you for long… I would LOVE to read one of your philosophical-quirky-wow poems soon now…
Thanks for the kind words here nonetheless… I had better write something cheery soon! grrrr
I had the feeling of a somewhat dark and desperate potrait of a person as I read this…gave me a sense of sadness for her…especially the last line.
Aww.. well, that last line made me kinda wince myself! I hope I didn’t go overboard there…
Thanks for your insights and comments here, Charles.. they are mush appreciated, my friend… I am always looking forward to reading your words here…
Desperation warring with resignation, embodied in the surface details draped over the inner ones. Nice one, Kavita. I love Deviant Art, too–they have just every imaginable kind of image on a zillion subjects, in every style and form–I can spend hours there. Let us know if you ever contribute.
My dear dear Joy… by saying that, you have put a new kinda energy into me! Now I feel really all geared up to contribute in some small way towards DeviantArt… jeeezz… what a storehouse of images it is!! And every single time I need one for my poem, I manage to find one there… it takes some patience.. but no matter… it’s there alright!!
Yaaayyyy… so glad you like my poem-pic combos too, my dear…
And this particular poem, fiction as it may be to me, it might just e reality for some others… and that really sucks! Sometimes I wonder if it’s good (or not) to have such dark imagination… grrr!! But I like it anyway ๐
Certainly an interesting poem.
I was struck by the potency while reading it.
A bit of a painful image portrayed though.
Excellent job
Ack!! Painful it sure was , Richard… thankfully to me though, it was fiction…whew!!!
Despite the sadness in it, I am glad you liked this one, R.. (that’s morbid…isn’t it? )
Sadly I can relate to this today:
“Heart crushed
Emotions slushed
Her spirit battered
And misery splattered”
Now now girl… fret not!! This too shall pass…
Maaaaaaaan!! We are the perfect partners – drama queens that we are!! ๐
Many hugs to you!!!
oh kavita…you make my heart heavy…the end is almost a longing for that dead end to maybe find relief…beautiful capture of the emotions…
now now, brian… cheer up!! but thanks for the kind words here, my friend…
I hope this girl finds her relief and a new beginning in that dead end…
A grim picture painted by words which rolled on and took you on a tour of this sad world of hers…xPenx
Wwwhhheewww… hope you weren’t too saddened by this poem, Pen… but your lift incident TOTALLY got me giggling…
Thanks for everything, sweetie…
A sad tale .. but a very hard hitting depiction you wrote ..
aww… thanks for your kind comments on this grim one, Nimu…
xxx
You tremble as you write true. Smile, now exhale.
Taste this:(http://wp.me/pBKhv-a0)
Aaahhh….thanks for that, Sam… you are a sweetheart… the girl in my poem seems to need a lot more such deep breaths… whheewww
Hello lovely Kavita,
Love DeviantArt…and this image is perfect…
the wordplay and structure here…awesome
just know this poem is felt.
Woohooo! D.Art rocks!!! So glad you liked this poem-pic combo, Annie… mwaahhz!! You are so sweet…
A powerhouse of a poem. Wow, amazingly done friend!! Your use of words and the story told..well done!!
Gee.. thanks a HEAP, Nicole… very sweet of you to say such nice things about this poem… I really appreciate it…
Your words are moving. You painted an excellent portrait of the blinding numbness of pain.
My One Shot: Imbiciles Turn Criminal
Awww… hope this one didn’t sadden you too much, Rache…. am jumping to your poem now!! I am VERY sure it’s gonna cheer me up alright! ๐
Thanks for your kind words here, sweetie…
Apparently you got tired of all the romantic, sexy stuff you’ve been writing lately, Kavita. (LOL!) A heavy counter-point. A definite character study.
hahahaha…. right you are, Eric!! And when I got serious, you got all romantic, eh!?!??! Hmmm…
๐
Heart crushed
Emotions slushed
Her spirit battered
And misery splattered
Feelings bottled inside
In vain she tries to hide
Wow! And to think this was on her GOOD day! I love the picture formed in this poem Kavita…”misery splattered” says it all. Par excellence again. You have eyes that are able to see the human condition so clearly. Beautifully written…
Oh gee, Tolbert.. it’s awfully kind of you to say such nice things about me and my writing here… I am flattered!! Thanks a heap, my friend…
You kindness and insights here mean a lot to me!! My sincerest thanks to you once again…
xxx
Very powerful images garnered from your words…..I didnt even look at the photo alongside as I was reading…really didnt even notice until afterward ๐ Well done.
WOWWWW!! I take that as a HUGE compliment, Blue…. thank you ever so much!! You are too kind…
Down the trail to a cul de sac of broken dreams. Let’s hope on the way to the dead end sign, the traffic changes and she realizes a better world, a brighter day, a new love, life, zest and reason to rejoice. Well done. Gay @beachanny
Amen to what you said, Gay… I hope her dead end is just a beginning to a new happier era…
Thanks for your kind and thoughtful comments here, my dear… they are greatly appreciated!
Sad image, good poem.
Thanks for the kind words, my friend…
Best wishes!
awww that heart breaking … touching …
beautifully expressed.
Gee.. Raji…don’t be so sad…
But thanks for your kind words here, darling… much appreciated…
Fun read, good flow/structure.
Aww.. thanks, Steve…
Amazing writing, though the words depicted an “end” it definitely didn’t fall short to carry it!!! Amazing and love the art too! ~April
Gee..April, I’m so happy you liked this grim poem, sweetie… thanks a bunch for your appreciative and encouraging words here, my dear… it means a great deal to me!
Superb rhyming!!
Its called “RHYMING WITH TIMING”
And it feels as if u had seen the Pic first and then written the poem…
really a heart touching emo..
Hope u remember me….
PLS CHECK MY NEW POEM,
I had writtten aftr a long time…
So maybe i may need ur sugestions…
^_^
Ofcourse I remember you, Shravan.. It’s been a while since we visited each other… my turn now! ๐
As for this poem, thanks a lot for your kind words, my friend… It so turns out that I wrote the poem first, and hunted for the pic later ๐ Glad you liked the combo so much!!
thnx for ur kind reply… U and ur Poems both r really sweet ma’am…
Where do u live??
Gee..thanks, S… anytime!! ๐
How sad!
๐ฆ you bet!!
I just wrote a dead end piece today
this really did take us down that road to no-where
well constructed
Aww.. what is it about dead ends today huh?!?!
Well, this was fiction for me.. I hope it was fiction for you as well, Moonie…
Thanks for the appreciation, my friend..
Intense n sad..
At another time I would have said I’m brave n have survived.. For today, I was down right in the morning- all teary eyed I typed out to you- I am composed now but definitely worried..
Reading this poem was easy- the words made sense even before I could reach out to read them!!
This is what I needed to feel better- I mean- I am definitely at a very better situation..
Love xxxx
Aww.. Liv, the more we allow things to affect us mentally, the more they will.
And while this is fiction for many, it is not for many more… I hope everything works out fine for you, sweetie…
Worry nots.. it will… if you let it
My best wishes are with you.. and hugs too!
xoxoxo
The picture, loved it, the poem, what a beauty, most people write sad poems
But to find beauty it such writing is brilliant
Whooaa!! That’s quite a big thing you have said there, Kodjo… I am flattered… thank you so much, my friend.. I really appreciate your words…
Dear Kavita
Very well rhymed and great and vivid imagery… Thanks for sharing..
เฅ เคจเคฎเค เคถเคฟเคตเคพเคฏ
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-night-along-sea.html
Twitter @VerseEveryDay
Thanks for your kind words, Shashi.. much appreciated!
Ah, dead-ends become so essential to arrive at because it is there that one often gathers the courage to make a new beginning.. turning back too can be a new journey altogether.. Thanks Kavita.. for your lovely poem that inspired..
Very well said, Ramesh…a dead end can also mean a new beginning… it’s all about attitude and spirit, I suppose..
I am very happy liked this grim poem, my friend… thank you so much for your insights and words of wisdom and kindness here…
the poem went so well with the picture. and i loved the design you made with it. great work, good rhythms!!
Gee.. thanks a bunch for the appreciation and encouraging words, Priyanka… It really means a great to me!!
(hugs)
Poor girl…but an excellent portrayal of the sorrow and loneliness we may feel…unfortunately for some, the joy never returns to their lives…is it because they simply do not seek it? I often wonder at this….
Oh yes, H… a good question you have posed here… I believe that if we really wish to get back to our life and really wanna make it beautiful, we CAN!
Thanks for your insights here, my friend.. it was really very thoughtful and kind of you…
Kavita, a very emotional piece, that flows beautifully
with the rhyming.
Gee.. thanks a bunch, Pamela…
Oh my, this is charged. I can imagine someone in such pain and despair the are happy for the dead end. Well done.
That photograph you found is something else too! Wow! I think I will see it in my sleep and hear the echo of the poem.
Ohh.. thanks a ton for all those kind words, J!! I am honored!!
Yes, pain can lead one to think that those dead-ends might be a better option instead.. (sigh).. I appreciate your sympathetic soul, my dear…
As for the picture, as much as I like it, I hope it doesn’t disturb you much.. ๐
Great, sad poem. I happy to have found your blog. I have subscribed.
http://timkeen40.wordpress.com
Oh.. thank you so much for subscribing to my blog, Tim… I really appreciate your gesture…
Am so glad you liked this serious poem…
Hey .. lovely read.. i could visualise every line in front of my eyes..
even I am into serious dark poetry .. do check my blog..
http://accusedofbeinginnocent.blogspot.com/
Aww..thanks for the visit and kind words, Sahiba… it’s very sweet of you…
Glad you too enjoy writing dark poetry… Read some of your work last night… it was awesome!!