Tags
A killing, Behind closed doors, Chill-factor, Dark, Dark in white, Dead or alive, Fear, Fiction, Foreboding, Grey, In broad daylight!, Magpie Tales, Mystery, Sharp, Story, Suspense, Winter
Image Credits: Tess Kincaid @ Magpie Tales
What the trees so strong
Could not feel
Was a touch so wrong
That made her keel
What the breeze that blew
Could not know
Was a chill that grew
Behind that door
What the birds that chirped
Could not hear
Was a soul usurped
By bouts of fear
What the sunlit yard
Could not smell
Was a heart too charred
To lose or sell
What the tongues of cold
Could not taste
Was the bitter mold
On hatred’s waste
What the whites outside
Could not see
Was the red inside
Spilt by her tea
**Posted for Magpie Tales – Week 52… Check it out for more magic made with this prompt… **
love this one, the many hidden ‘views’ painted by your words…xx
But you saw them, Pen!!! Thank you ever so much, my dear…
(sigh) And yet, certain things just remain a mystery!
Kindred Spirit, I like this.
Gee.. thank you, my friend… makes me very pleased…
What an intense one Kavz!
Also a very touching indeed. It unfolded towards the climax subtly and very beautifully.. 🙂
Perfect rhyming verse and a nice fact stated. It often happens that the one who is broken inwards becomes completely invisible..
I hope the soul revives soon enough.. 🙂
Hugs xoxox
Yup.. rightly said, Livvy.. Some people just close in on themselves… and who knows misery made got them to do that…
It’s quite sad indeed… I wish they allow themselves to get some help…
But if they are strong enough, they WILL spring back after all!! Cheers to that!!!
Glad you liked this one, Liv… you are a sweetheart!!
Well well, what an ending! I was not expecting it at all, love the way you surprise people. I like the dark feelings in this one, I think it tells you how people always have dark and sad feelings which they hide behind. Great poem!
Whooaa!! YESSS!! You saw it as a climactic story…. thank you, girl!! I was hoping someone would… and so glad that it was none other than you!
And it is so true… what you said about the dark thoughts that people have, and how they cower behind them… (sigh)
What no one could read was the words in her silence and the pain in her laughter.
Nice lines.
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
Rightly said, Anshul… all her emotions stayed hidden, and masked! Poor gal…
Happy you liked this piece, my friend… thanks for your insights and kind words here… much appreciated!
The things that no one sees, make the receiver all the more lonely. Really good take on the prompt.
Aww… thanks for the encouragement, Louise.. that’s really sweet of you..
As for this neglected girl, I hope she finds herself soon… she might just feel a little less lonely…
Such mystery in this…makes you want to know more about her. 🙂
hahahah… you you, Charles (or is it Holmes? ;-))!! Always wanting to unravel mysteries!! 🙂
What a sad, wasted life! How little we know of what happens behind closed doors and impassive faces.
Aaaahh… you can say that again, Jabblog!! The mysteries that will always remain mysteries… (sigh)
Kavita…this is so many-layered I will have to read over and over because it is so rich of a poem.
Lovely and resonant.
Lady Nyo
Thank you for your kindness and appreciation shown here, my dear… it means a great deal to me!
Very happy you liked this poem so much…
So many (too many) wonderful lines here, such as:
Was a heart too charred
To lose or sell
Beautiful poem, Kavita!
Oh.. I really appreciate your kind words here, Suko.. thank you so much!!!!!
xoxoxoxo
I really enjoyed the flow of this poem.
Gee… I’m very glad you did, Kristen… Thank you so much for stopping by…
Beautifully mysterious.
Gee.. thanks, Anthony… 🙂 I am a huge suspense/mystery fan 🙂
What I cannot believe is
what a superb poem/story this is.
A sense of sadness, mystery. Well done, my friend.
Oh.. thank you, V!! I am flattered! And I appreciate you writing this comment as a form of continuance to my poem… really sweet of you, my friend… thanks again!
No one ever knows what goes on behind closed doors. Great read.
Aahhh… you know, Barbara… I have often looked at some of those palatial house (or even those smaller ones) and wondered what exactly might be going on behind those those closed doors… I am sure each house has a story to tell…
Thanks for stopping by and for leaving a leaving a kind word here, my friend… I really appreciate it..
Ooh, another winner here Kavita
Yaaahhhoooo…Thanks for the continued support and encouragement, Richard… it really means a great deal to me!!!
Im going right now to make myself some tea!
😀 It made me feel like in a cozy home while it´s freezing outside.
😀
WOOHOOOO!! So now I have a tea friend!! Yaaayyyy 😀
So happy you enjoyed this one, Lu Ann…. yippee!!
Ah, in my experience, the trees, birds, snow, breeze and sunlight do know… it’s humans that are unaware of the suffering of others.
Great poem.
I understand you were using metaphors, hinting at secret inner lives.
Hah!! That’s so true, Angela… nature knows.. it’s WE who have to learn… a lot! Even of our own secret/inner lives…
Thank you so much for your insights, my friend… I really appreciate it!!!
xooxox
wow loved it Kavita … what an intense write. kudos.
Ooohh… so very glad you liked this piece, Dr. Bhaishali…thank you ever so much for your kind words here…
Your second last stanza is AMAZING!! I really enjoyed your ABAB rhyme scheme 🙂
oooohhh…thanks a ton, Mark!!! Now why am I not so surprised that you liked this rhyme scheme?! 😉 Just kidding…. so glad you liked the poem, M…. I really appreciate your encouragement and support… it means a great deal for me!!!
Whoa! that was terribly good. I loved the structure..
Whhheww!! Just for about half a second, I thought you were writing “terrible” 🙂
Gee…thanks, Pri… I am so very glad (and relieved ;)) that you liked this piece… Really appreciate your words here…
There’s always more than what we see – I like the style of this piece.
Indeed there always is, Susan… wish we all had a third eye or something… so that nothing went unseen…
Very happy you like the structure I’ve employed here, my dear.. thanks for your kind words…
Hey its nice.. I am here for the first time. Thats why thought of penning little.
All the wishes for the next work!
Ohh.. thank you so much for stopping by and for your encouraging words here, Pranavam… that’s very kind of you…
I am really glad you liked this poem…
Such a flow to this, Kavita, and it feels like there are lots of veils being pulled back and yet the all mysteries are not reveiled and the end is something of a surprise. Well done. Subtle.
So glad to see you appreciating the finer points of the poem, Jamie (those that really mattered to me).. thank you for that, J!!
You are an amazing person to know!!! And your comments and encouragement here are something I will cherish…
You really built up the emotion in this one until the end! Perfect.
Glad you liked the poem, Deb…thanks for your kind word here…
This is hauntingly beautiful.
This is the best week of magpies!
Aww…thanks, Thingy…. and it’s a special week for Magpie … the first anniversary week… yaaaaaaaaaayyy!! Isn’t it just awesome!?!??
wow! you took the words right out of my heart, Kavita! I was thinking along the same lines as you when I seen the photo but…I didn’t have the time to participate with this one. love your style and love this piece Beautifully done!
thank you
and thank you for your visit and kind comment
Wooowwwiiieezzz… glad you saw it the same way as I did, Hope!! Yaaayy!!
Thanks for your insights and kind words here, sweetie… and I really hope you can participate in Magpie Tales this coming week… looking forward to reading yours!
Have a great weekend, my dear..
Powerful. Tells a sad story.
Indeed… 😦
You managed to get all the senses into wonderful this poem Kavita 🙂 The imagery and the image is beautiful too 🙂
Thank you so much, dear Lynda…
truly a lot left hidden in this. 🙂 Really liked the lines “What the whites outside
Could not see
Was the red inside..” –chilling indeed.
Happy to catch up with some of your fine words at last 🙂
Oh… me likes suspense.. and that’s what I tried to create here.. 🙂 Glad you liked it too, Siubhan! Thanks a ton!
what lovely company she has… trees, breeze, birds, sunlight… though they are unable to grasp all that she experiences… true company helps healing in its own time. beautiful writing! sadness is a part of life… nature eases the pain…
Very VERY well said, Alice.. thanks for the positive words… really inspiring!
Wow – really strong flow, love how it all climaxes to the end!
Aaah…thanks for the appreciative words, Neha… 🙂
very haunting and exciting imagery.
love to see your words bounce and dance with different tunes,
perfect tale.
Happy Sunday!
Thanks for the comments in my blogs.
you rock.
🙂
Oooohhh…. haunting, eh?! I like that! Thanks, J… glad you liked this one!
You are amazing!!!! I think you need to write a book!!!
Whoooaa!! I am flattered, girl… thankoooo!! You are too kind, sweetie…. and if and when I get around to publishing one, you certainly will be among the first few to know! Thanks for the encouragement…really means a great deal to me!!!
xoxoxoxo
🙂
I hear ya… “suspense”??? 🙂