Tags
Belonging, Doubts, Mine, Not mine, One Shot Wednesday, One Stop Poetry, Ownership, Possession, Questions, Rhetoric, Skeptic
Image Credits - DeviantArt.com
Can I say
My God is mine
When all I see
Is me being jostled
To the end of his line?
Can I say
Your religion is mine
When here I am
Sitting cooped and closed
Building my own mental shrine?
Can I say
My land is mine
When I know too well
That I have to renew the lease
When it ages beyond ninety-nine?
Can I say
Your heart is mine
When it safely resides
In the deepest nook of me
And yet I long for it and pine?
Can I say
My soul is mine
When I look for it
And find, instead of me,
Your face stare back and whine?
Can I… ?
**Posted for this week’s One Shot Wednesday (week 28)… Do check out this amazing place full of very fine poetry!!! **
How I write, is mine...How you read, is yours 
Wonderful piece, Kavita! I love the flow and repitition, it’s a wonderful theme!
Aww.. thanks a bunch for the encouragement and appreciation, Gally!!! You are too kind, my dear..
NO, you can’t… but you’ll keep wanting so…as i do
you bet, Dulce!! And that’s the way to go!!
Cheers, girl!!
xoxox
I like the way you designed the poem and the set of questions posited within the poem…very fine work.
Thank you so very much, my friend.. you constant encouragement is MOST appreciated!!!
Do we really possess…anything? What a wonderful poem. Beautiful.
We do possess EVERYTHING, and yet own nothing… don’t you think so, Myrna?
But I am sure am super happy that you liked this poem… thanks a ton, my dear…
xoxo
in fidning we have nothing have we not found we have everything? nice one shot…
heheh.. that’s so zen, Brian.. 🙂 Glad you liked this one, my friend…
Witty take on the rhetorical question. Cool to use that as a poetic device. Great way to express emotion and struggles that might have no answers, or at least no seeming immediate ones. “Can I say…” the repeated act of asking fits with the title as well—tinge of melancholy. Written smartly and creatively. Nice job, Kavita!
Gee.. thanks for all the positive feedback, Adam.. I really appreciate your insights and kind words here… you are most sweet, my friend…
Verse on, and keep rocking!!
It is rather zen. I do like the closing line: back and whine. Wonderful.
Poem on, dear Kavita!
heheh… I guess I was in one of those moods when I was writing this then… whheeww
SO GLAD you enjoyed this poem, Jamie… mwaahh!! Thanks a bunch for the kind words of appreciation.. xoxo
I really like this a lot… wonderful imagery like only you can girlfriend. Sending you loads of love oxoxo
Ooohh…girl… I see you are slooooowly getting back to poeming! 🙂 SO NICE TO SEE YOU BACK, DARLING!!!
THANKS for coming back!! 😀 xoxooxoxoxox
Am happy you appreciate this poem, sweetie… mwaahhh!
You find the most amazing images to go with your thoughts, and I don’t just mean the picture. I think the end of this poem is the beginning of another one. Your journey to find out what exactly you own is one I feel I’ve been on a long time myself. Enjoyed it.
So nice of you to say that, Joy…really, I am flattered!! I was almost on the verge of falling asleep when suddenly a few questions just seemed to pop in my head, and I simply HAD to scribble them down in my book (As an idea for a poem).. and I am glad at the way it turned out too.. 🙂 So, your appreciation towards this one really means a GREAT deal to me, my dear.. thank you once again!!! Your comment got a HUGE ear-to-ear gron on my face… 😀 (like so)
I hope we (you and I both) find this journey enjoyable…
Cheers!
How beautiful. I love the repetition of the question. Mine is here. http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/innocence-lost/
Aww.. thanks a ton, Teresa… you are so kind..
Have a lovely week ahead!
Yours and mine…whose is really whose? Are we trapped by our desires (picture stirring that line of thought as well). Has a sad sort of tune to it in my head, but romantic still…romantic longing. The repetition of opening lines, with the interchanging second work well in the construction and flow of the piece – well done!
I LOVED the opening line of your comment, Chris.. you have put it perfectly!! Whom it all really belong to anyway?! Well, this poem was a mixed bag to me.. a bunch of rhetorics, a bunch of real questions, a bunch of emotions packed in the midst of it all.. 🙂
Glad you could appreciate all of it, my friend.. very kind of you! Thanks a ton!!
So much truth you penned here…
All that we want to claim and own…and nothing is truly ours…
You bet, Talon… the more we say something is ours, the more we realize it’s not.. (sigh)
I am glad you liked this poem so much, my friend..
Much love to you..
Bringing it from the infinite down to the one. Very well done. I hear the music of the spheres in your words. Gay @beachanny
Ohhhh… you say ‘music’, and I see a lightness in the air.. thanks for the lovely compliment, Gay.. you are the sweetest! Thanks for the kind words, my friend.. I am very happy you enjoyed this poem..
Kavita, I really felt connected to this poem in an indescribable way… everyday i face questioning situations and though maybe i …can never say…:) i will maybe get inspired from them
Thanks for sharing
Love and Light
Oh gee.. thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement, Wanjiju.. it was very sweet of you.. and I am thoroughly flattered by your comments… really!
I guess these questions have a way of cropping up in our minds once in a while… and we all have our way of tackling them! 🙂
You have a wonderful week ahead, my friend..
and yourself as well 🙂
I hope we get to stay connected literary!!
P.S i notice a milli spelling errors *blushes* eeerrr.. kindly edit ’em for me.
Thanks in advance 🙂
I will make sure we stay connected in this literary world!! 🙂
And as for the typos… worry not, my friend.. I will fix that right away.. (hugs)
thanks :)hug right backatchu!!
xox
😀
Kavita
This poem took me by surprise — for it had a very ‘zen’ ending. I love the philosophy behind your poem. that there are very few things we can lose for in reality there are very few things we can possess. Spiritual simplicity in your poem.
joanny
heheh… don’t be too surprised, Joanny.. I get these questions popping in my mind all too often… I have the answers too (well, mostly :))
But on a more serious note, thanks for your insights here, sweetie…
In my opinion, we either have it all or have nothing at all… and they are both the same really… what say?
Glad you liked this poem, J.. thanks again..
Awesome!
I love the picture as well. 😀
Yaayy… thanks a ton, my friend…
So happy you like ’em both!!
xoxo
Some perfect soul searching there. Beautifully put.
🙂 You can say that again, Anthony.. soul searching indeed! (and some small amount of sleeplessness ;))
Glad you liked the piece though.. thanks for the kind words of appreciation..
I like the title and the first stanza the best. And the ending question works. The word whine jarred me out of the piece. I don’t know why but it seemed out of place. Do you ever uncenter your poems? Just a thought. That’s a neat image and nicely fits the theme.
I guess I like a bit of symmetry in my poems.. hence the centering on this blog 🙂
Glad you liked the piece, Yvonne! Infact, a little jarring out is not too bad either.. 🙂
Your feedback and comments are much appreciated, my friend..
Very profound poem! I like all the issues you touched upon, and the manner in which you did, especially about god and religion. Your thoughts are similar to mine 🙂
yaaayyy.. see?! great minds do indeed think alike … 🙂
Luv ya, girlie!
Full of depth and meaning, Kavs… nicely tidy in rhyming quintains too. You ask some important questions. Thought-provoking piece.
Warmest Salad
Luke x
Aww… Lukey… you make me blush.. thank so much, my friend..
…..bravo….a very good poem… definite soul searching there…thanks for sharing pete
Thank you so much, Pete, my friend.. you are very kind..
Can I say,
no, rather can I fly away?
Nice poem.
Cheers
Aww… (flutter flutter)…
did you hear that, Anshul?! 🙂
Glad you liked this one, my friend.. thanks!
what i’ve come to learn over the years is that very few is ours – and we gain most when we let go… beautiful poem with thouht provoking lines…i liked it – and i also liked the shape of the stanzas
Gee..thanks for your insights and words of encouragement, Claudia! I really appreciate it…
I just love your blog… Every time I read my heart sighs and I get it… I understand and I don’t feel so alone…
Awww… warm hugs to you, sweetie!!!
xoxooxx
Very deep questions K. This is really good, read it over a couple times and enjoyed 🙂
*sigh*…
thank you soooo much, Mark, my friend!
This is a beautiful poem, Kavita.. I liked each stanza..and the last one.. a nice culmination.. Thank you!!!
thank YOU for your kind and encouraging words here, Rameshji…
much love to you!
I love the push and pull of the questions, needing answers, but balanced together in the asking.
Glad you saw it that way, Marilynn… thanks a heap for your encouraging words…
Some deep thinking here, Kay…I like the God and religion part.
Bless!
aahh.. the ever debatable topics, eh!? whheewww…
But thanks for the kind words, Em…
Hope are doing good…
Beautiful–really liked how you used repetition. happy to have found you.
Likewise, Heather!! And thanks for the kindest words, sweetie…
xxxx
There’s a lot to think about in this one, Kavita. Makes me think of the saying that we can “have” something only by letting it go. Everything is a gift, an ephemeral gift. And no one can really understand or possess us. Nicely written.
You said it perfectly, Victoria… Really “having” something means being able to let go of it with ease…
Glad you liked this piece, my friend.. thanks for your insightful words here… I really appreciate it..
Is there anything ours … maybe just the thoughts and breath of light … Lovely, as usual.
Aahh…you said ir, Summer Gal.. what is ours anyway!?!?
It’s all just a matter of perception… no?
Glad you liked it, lady… mwah!!!
Do we really ever “own” anything? Great questions for reflection beautifully penned. I always love writing that searches.
Yaaaayyy… glad you liked this one too, Susan… it’s such searches that bring added purpose to our life (or so I think).. no?
I am liking your work so much. This is another wonderful piece.
Awww… thank you thank you thank youuuuuuuuuuuu, Patti!!! xoxooxoxox
A very strong poem with punch in the gut. It resonates well I think because it is also a universal plaint.
It is as about an honest statement as can be made.
Lady Nyo
Thanks, Lady Nyo… certain truths sometimes have to be voiced, I guess.. no? *sigh*
I really like the way you set this up. Very cool.
Gee.. thanks a ton for your appreciation for this piece, Mama Zen… Love ya!!!!
oh..wow!
hehehe.. thanks man!! 🙂
Dear Kavita
The possession of things that are not to be possessed but to be savored or felt.. very beautifully you said it Kavita.. loved you lines…
‘When it safely resides
In the deepest nook of me
And yet I long for it and pine?’
Thanks for sharing…
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
Twitter @VerseEveryDay
Thank you so much, Shashi…
Possessiveness is yet another cause to many a broken heart.. no?
Love the repetetive nature of the poem, the questions…God, religion, land, heart, soul…what a beautiful transition, left with the burning question…
“Can I?”
Seems very circular, never ending, and easy to start at the top and read again and again…Love it!
Whoa!! So glad you enjoyed this one, Tolbert.. I truly appreciate your kind words here… thank you so much, my friend…
ohh whatta brillliant piece… the questions are haunting
/In the deepest nook of me
And yet I long for it and pine?
// thats touching and deep
enjoyed reading
Aww… thank you so much, Raji… I am so very happy to see that you liked this poem so much… your kind words here mean a lot to me, sweetie… thanks again!!
xoxox
a very self reflective piece…we look out at that around and back at our inner self…..and self discovery is an amazing journey…thank you …bkm
Indeed it is quite a journey, Barbara.. if only people realized the significance of this journey… wheeewww…
thanks for your insightful words here, my friend..
Kavita, love the repetition and that last was quite unexpected.
Nice one shot!
Thank you, Pamela… I am terribly glad you liked this one!
Ably stated not-so-whimsical whimsy. . . dark-ish whimsy? Anyhow, effective stuff.
whooaaa!! Quite a comment there,Steve!! And somehow, it seems MOST appropriate for this poem! 🙂 Thank youuu !!!!!!!
Really enjoyed the pondering thoughts, question posed, yet truly, can this one ever really be answered? Reminds me of thoughts that jostled my days when studying Sarte in college.
EXACTLY!! I too wonder if there are indeed any answers to these Qs… or are the answers too simple!?!?!? Whew!!! I really wonder…
Glad you liked my musings, my friend.. thanks for your insightful words here..