Tags
A third choice, Cruel, Desperation, Fiction, Google Images, Imagination, Life or Death?, UDPS, Undead Poets Society, Voices within
From the deepest depths of my heart,
The darkest corners of my mind,
The deadliest pits of my stomach,
There came first a moan,
And then followed
A low, raspy voice
It whispered to me,
“You are too good
For this toxic
Dungeon of a world.
Spare yourself… Die…
If you go to Hell,
They’ll accept you with pride
And without a bribe.
If you go to Heaven,
They’ll welcome you with garlands
And ask for nothing in return.
If you are stuck in between,
One of them will soon see you
And will relieve you
Of your lesser misery – living.
But they’ll respect you
For having endured
That which we call Life,
And they, Death.
Or maybe worse…”
I listened,
listened and sobbed.
Sobbed hard.
Till I could feel no more,
Hear no more,
Bear no more.
How I write, is mine...How you read, is yours 
The pain in these words is palpable. I hope the poet knows, however, that pain, like everything, passes and empty spaces, when given the chance of time, always fill. In a way, the poem says this, that heaven or hell will find the limbo-trapped soul and claim it as their own. Beautiful work, Kavita
You’ve read it exactly how I had intended it to be read, when I wrote this… Ofcourse, it was all imagination to me.. So, no worries 🙂
But, I just stepped into the shoes of a much unhappier individual (like all those oppressed, treated like dirt, poor, miserable), and wrote words that flowed to my fingers.. I will never “feel” what they are going through.. but this poem was an attempt on my part…
I hope such feelings pass away from their minds too.. but when it comes to them, this is probably how would react.. 😦
Thank you for appreciating my work, Cindy.. I am pleased to see you liked it (although the situation described here is DEFINITELY not one to be liked!)…
Your insightful comments are highly appreciated…thanks once again..
Have a lovely weekend!
Ohh I thought we came into this life .. or as they say in mythology became a Human cause it was for some good deed we did and God was happy.. So how can it be the IN BETWEEN:) …
I loved the poem though.. I just wish and hope i dont do anything silly and not makie people sad or hurt them then maybe heaven i can go to 🙂
i am being greedy now he hehe
This life is not the in-between 🙂 What I meant was, when we die and have not yet made it into either Heaven or Hell.. that’s the in-between I was referring to 🙂 Sorry if I wasn’t any clearer in the poem… But then, I liked your interpretation too… considering this life itself as an in-between and then questioning it! phewww 🙂
I am glad you liked the poem Bikram… I was just trying to write the rantings of a tortured/oppressed/frustrated mind (not mine–this was fiction! :)) who probably at some time feels that death could be better than the miserable life they are leading…
And I am sure you are a sweet person who hasn’t harmed or hurt anyone else deliberately! So you are not being greedy when you say you wanna go to Heaven 😉
Have a lovely and relaxed weekend!
Kavita – this was distressing to read, which I think was the point. I think many people feel this way at some point, trapped between living and a living death.
Excellent work!
Regards…
Glad you liked the poem, Jhannet…
Yes, my idea was indeed to make the reader feel the mind of a traumatized individual… one who probably gets the felling that death might be better than the miserable life they are leading! Ofcourse, I didn;t mean to distress the mind of a reader as such.. but once in a while, I get these empathetic feelings, and just about then, I feel the urge to pen them down too!!!
Thank you for understanding, and for appreciating my work! I am indebted to you for that…
Hope you are having a fabulous weekend… Take care, lady! 🙂
Amazing poem. You do an outstanding job of capturing the internal debate that some people feel day in and day out. Very sad poem though.
Thanks, Mark !! I am glad you liked the poem (wrong word to use here.. I guess “appreciate” is a better word)
Yes, that was EXACTLY what I wanted to highlight here.. the internal debate that place in the minds of many of us at least once in a while .. and many a time in the minds of the hurt and oppressed and frustrated!
It was fiction to me her, and I do it’s fiction to you as well..
I really value your comments.. thank you for your kind and insightful words…
Hope you are having a great weekend!
three options,
each has a consequence, often people get too busy struggling to survive, one barely cares about how exactly another feels, family members fail to do so, not to mention strangers or blogging buddies, we all have misery inside, we all strive to shine and vent at the same time..
admirable approach to lives of all walks…
experiences and education shape people’s world views, let’s hope that we share common ground and find common interest to look forward to,
you are caring soul,
hope that you are cherished and loved for all you do,
Happy End of July!
🙂
Jingle, thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments.. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and ponder over it, and then even leave your thoughts about it.. It is very gentle and sweet of you…
Yes, I totally agree with your interpretation of this poem… We have options, and each seems to have its own weight! Sometimes, the worst options seem the easiest, and sometimes it’s the other way around…
It’s time we start appreciating our own follies, our own virtues, our own selves… so that we can appreciate others’ too 🙂
I like your words too.. they mean a lot to me!
And for having you and my other readers to read my work, and to appreciate it, I definitely feel blessed and cared for…
Thank you so much for that, Jingle!! You are very thoughtful… And I really owe it to you!!
Hope you are having a fabulous weekend with family and friends…
Cheers, and take care (lots of love and hugs) 🙂 😀
And a Happy End of July to you as well..
relation is mutual, one one cares for others, if the other party cares back, then it is a bliss, at times,
envy stands in the way, some people’s feelings get hurt when they see the other people happy together, then they figure out ways to break cycles, then options are taken, always, someone get hurt in the end…
for me,
I never intend to hurt anyone, for every friend I lose because of envy or jealousy of the third party, I let go, I refuse to apply tricks to win my friends back, I try to make new friends, …
I feel tired of fighting, fighting is ugly,
thus…
Hope that you don’t torture yourself too much, be natural, be easy on yourself.
I was moved by your exceptional thoughtfulness and kindness from you.
you are very different from many others…in many ways..
Happy August 1st!
😉
I cannot even imagine that you can ever hurt anyone, Jingle…
Your kindness and thoughtful for every occasion, every situation has always left me humbled…
Without you, your AMAZING Rally and your support, I would have have never had the reader base that I now have… and I shall always be grateful to you for that 🙂
I hope our friendships last forever and stay pure, without envy, without anything vile… Cuz like you said, fighting is ugly, and nothing good EVER came out of any war EVER! And thank you for your appreciation, encouragement and your kind words for me 🙂 I AM THOROUGHLY HONORED AND PLEASED !!!
I love being here, with you and all the other fantastic writers/poets, and this is one of those places where I can be myself, and give my best!
Cheers to you, jingle, and to all of us!!
Have a FANTABULOUS week ahead! 😀
divine……..nice post….
fear to freedom…..
eternity is dancing on eternity like football…
divine outside……divine in side….all freedom
like football cover = body =guru and guide
fear of win and lose …….part of life …play well
breath in = love….
breath out happiness…….
true ends of life…..
every breath invaluable….earns… invaluable happiness….
learn = l earn = love earn = happiness of body..mind..soul..spirit..
right hand …body
left hand ….soul..
bring them together…
minimum for 3 minutes
like prayers…
mind to no mind…
stress….zero..
life = dance of zero
love all… so simple
Thank you so much, Ram, for your words of wisdom and appreciation…
Yes, a mind can be very stressed at times.. but we need to relax and take our time to come out of it… cuz like you said, love and happiness are the true ends of life.. the beginning and end 🙂
I am glad you liked this post…
And I hope you are having a peaceful and great weekend! Take care..
Okay.. that has anguish written all over it! You’ve depicted the emotion so well, it hurts to read the poem..!
It was anguish alright (fiction though)! But it’s not always fiction to many stressed/oppressed/tortured/frustrated souls out there…
In fact, these thoughts sometimes cross our minds as well.. It’s just a matter of time before we find a way to come out of it, and appreciate our lives and its ways… 🙂
Thanks for reading and appreciating my work, Ilakya…Your kind words and insightful comments keep me motivated and are a great source of encouragement!
Have a fabulous weekend, sweets! (love)
OMG…this is the first time I’ve seen you writing something that leans totally towards the darker side and you have pulled this one off beautifully. Dark and distressing and felt chills reading this!! It is however a fact and reality of life and I for one am so thankful that I live on the “other side”!! This was proven once again about your versatillity and creative side on all levels…I am not surprized as your talent astounds me daily. You are such a delight to all of us and I thank you for that girlfriend. Keep writing and spread your magic words!!! Much love always xxxxxxxxxxx
LOL.. First of all, sorry about the extremely delayed reply.. We had a few friends over last night, and it was kinda crazy.. So couldn’t find time to get online, except check my mail on my iPhone.. I find it too much to type a decent reply on it, so I thought I may as well wait till I can get to my laptop, so that I can reply in peace 🙂
Thank you so much Amanda… I have written a coupla dark ones before this one, but they probably were not as dark as this one here 🙂
But yes, in a way, it is a reality, and some time or the other we have all felt so (although maybe in a slightly milder way :))
I’m glad you liked (wrong word here??) this one… and again, thank you for your generous praise towards my work.. your comments are very encouraging and are a great source of my inspiration. Your words and feedback give me the guts to try out new forms and new ideas in poetry 🙂
Once again, my humblest and deepest gratitude to you.. You are my first blogger friend ever, and I truly treasure your (blogger and otherwise) friendship!!
A very happy friendship day to you! I know it’s already Monday there, but it doesn’t matter, does it?! Everyday is friendship day for good friends! 🙂
Hope you are having a lovely Monday morning, and have a BEAUTIFUL week ahead!
A very powerful poem: good job putting words to the torment so many people feel.
Thank you, Liz(..?)..
Yes, I believe many of us do indeed go thru’ such phases once in a while… That internal torment is quite overbearing at times!
Thanks for showing your appreciation towards my work… I really value your comments…
A Very Happy Friendship Day to you!! 🙂
4 u:) Plz check out both links
http://hoiden.wordpress.com/awards/awards-from-jingle-july-1/
http://hoiden.wordpress.com/awards/friendship-awards/
Oooohhh…thanks a bunch, Hoiden! Wll check them out right away…
WOW!!! This is tooo cool!!!
A very Happy Day to you toooooo !!! 😀 Yaaaayyy
After I read this, I was worried that you were having a difficult time…so relieved to find out you’channeled’ the sadness to write the poem. You’ve conveyed the pain well.
Thank you for your concern and kind words… it was really very sweet of you… But no, I was not really going through a tough time myself (Thank God for that!)… It’s just that I felt like writing about this feeling that many of us get once in a while… It does indeed go through our minds – The Why Mes?! The Hows?,etc… And I just felt like giving it a mention via this poem…
I am happy to see you understood the anguish that I’ve tried to depict here (although it’s an unpleasant mood, to be felt happy about)
Once again, thank you for the appreciation… Hope you had a great weekend!
And here’s wish you a lovely week ahead! Cheers…
Kavita, beautiful words! 🙂 I love the idea of heaven and hell claiming souls and respecting them for enduring limbo. Being stuck in between is the hardest, getting trapped in absolute emptiness and I do believe no soul is lost forever, there will be someone to see and save them sooner or later.
Thanks a bunch, Lua !!! I am very glad to see you liked this poem…
I was trying to speak for those that feel so miserable in their lives that they actually begin to prefer death over life…
Yes, our souls will never be lost… and neither will our lives…
Cheers to that thought… And hope you have a great week ahead!
Whoa, some strong stuff. Well played! And what an image…
Warmest salad
Luke
Gee…glad you liked it, Luke… It was just an effort to describe those weird moments that many of us go thru’ once in a while…moments where nothing seems to make sense, and everything seems meaningful! The image was a result of one of my random searches on Google, ages ago! 🙂
Thanks for your appreciation towards my work…
And I love your yummy fresh salady signature 🙂
Have a great week ahead!
Kavita, this was startling in its expression of raw, unadulterated emotion. I can’t help but to wonder which way the axe will swing. Is the choice ours, and ours alone? Yes, I like that this provokes some serious questions in me. 🙂
I am glad you liked this poem, Tony.. The question worries me as well.. but then I tell myself, it’s okay 🙂 Let the axe swing whichever way it wants to… I will live life my way, just the way I like it (without deliberately hurting others in the process)
Thanks for your insightful comments, Tony.. I really value them!
Have a fantastic week ahead!
Strong emotions depicted so well. Wonderfully written work!
-Weasel
Thank you so much, Weasel… I am glad you enjoyed the read… it was intense (well, intended to be) alright… but thankfully, it was part fiction… phheewww
It was an attempt to bring out the feeling that sometimes invades our mind nevertheless…
Thanks once again for your encouragement… it means a lot to me!
Have a superb week ahead!
I really worried about you when reading this – then I though to the encouraging comment you left for me today, and I read your response above to the first comment – and I am relieved!
Which speaks to the power of your writing, and your sincerity…!
We all have despaired like that at moments in our life – I cannot respect or trust a man or woman who hasn’t (of course, I do not *know* if someone has unless they’ve told me; Im just saying).
If my poetry has been encouraging, as you say, it is from active choice to be, often days pulling out something bright, or trying to create something bright when I don’t feel like it. And sometimes you don’t know it. [at the church I’ve starting go to just this summer, the guest pastor thanked me afterwards for my constant smile (I sit close, a couple pews back right on the aisle, closer to the pulpit than anyone else there, now that I think about it) and I thought, “I was smiling…??!!” I didn’t know I was, lol – sometimes we just don’t, but those around us know].
Thank you for your Friendship Day wishes!! I didn’t know today was Friendship Day! All days are, with you, friend. 🙂
And I expect to post tomorrow evening, lol 😉
Larry
Oh yes, Larry.. this was just my way of bringing out that which we feel and go through at times…
I am very glad you liked the poem, and thank you for your appreciation and kind words of encouragement! They keep me going…
And the church incident you mentioned, I agree with you… we sometimes do things that we don’t realize we did…but others sure notice those little things 🙂
And I am very glad that it was a smile you had on your face … smiles are always welcome 🙂
Keep your spirits high, and my best wishes are with you…ALWAYS!!!
And I am already waiting for your post this evening 🙂
(many hugs)
You so captured the world of many/ So many souls are lost and wondering in life. Our jouney and our path must be embraced and the challenges need to be met. I love all of the posts you have done lately. I enjoyed spending the time reading your words. Hope you have a very creative week. 🙂 Thanks for visiting me. I love your comments. 🙂
You nailed it, Doraz!! I am SO happy you got the message exactly as I wanted it to be conveyed in this poem!
I feel very pleased when a reader sees things in the same as I do! Thank you so much for that, Doraz! (A BIGGGGGG HUG!!!)
Although this message itself was not a happy one, it still remains a fact that many of us go thru’ it once in a while… So let’s appreciate even these feelings, and towards driving these away, so that we can love life all the more! That’s the way I look at it..
Thanks for your wishes, visits and your encouragement…they keep me going!!! And I value them a lot!
Have a lovely week with friends and family!! Yiipppeee 😀
Wow– hoping that this, your dark side, is just peeking his head out for a minute. Yep, worried about you baby girl! But then I read the next poem and realized that it’s just a momentary despair-drive-by. Been there. Your use of language is spot on here– congrats!
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
That’s so sweet of you, Marilynn! Thank you so much for your concern… This poem was just my way of bringing out and showing the in-between feeling which many of us face, once in a while … And like you said, a momentary drive-by! 🙂
I am glad you liked the poem… and thanks a million for your kind words and encouragement… I shall always cherish it…
Hope you have a lovely week ahead! Take care..
And CHEERS to this awesome thing called life!!! 😀
Nice dark, macabre poem :3
heheh… thanks, girl!! Glad you liked it…
Hope you have a lovely week ahead! 🙂
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/08/02/the-celebrate-blogger-awards-plus-prayers-4-viola/
awards are fun,
viola lost her husband,
I lost a general friend,
all together,
please visit and give love to them…
thanks
I am very sorry to hear about Viola’s husband and your friend, Jingle… it’s really sad…
These are part of life, and it’s up to us how boldly we handle such a situation… I hope their souls rest in peace, and that they find happiness in their onward journey…
Thank you for the blogger award Jingle.. it was very kind of you and the other writers/poets… I am honored!
My prayers have us all in them – you, all the rally members and our families and friends…
Have a peaceful and calm week ahead!
Heartfelt and painful to read. Well crafted poem. J–
Thank you for your comments, Jack… they are always welcome, and are much appreciated!
As for the painful nature of the poem, well, we all get these feelings once in while.. So I thought I may as well put them here when I AM NOT feeling them at the moment:)
Have a great week ahead!
The mistery called life, dead, heaven, hell or otherwise will always inspire people’s wildest imagination… Great poem. I especially like the title “An awkward awakening” because in the end that’s what it all will prove to be on a personal scale. Thanks for the insights (kavisions), Kavita.
Thank you for your insightful comments, gladiuspoeticus… I am very gad you liked this poem…
I am especially happy you see the aptness in the title of this poem, cuz it took me a while to come up with a suitable title fo it.. and when I finally thought of an awkward awakening, I thought it made sense, because, it IS an awakening after all.. So, you appreciating the title is something very special to me! Thank you so much for that…
Have a great week ahead!!!
I’ve read books that say the voice in still silence is not of your own. The all knowing voice I find is reassuring. Scary thought that something is telling you that you will soon leave this world but there is a strength and a calm that voice. Like a cancer patient at the end of their treatment who has accepted the next stage of what is to come. Being told that upon your transition you will be accepted within both realms, to me, seems comforting. After reading a few comments I feel slightly outside of what you may have intended to come across but your sobbing should be of relief not worry or fear. >.<
Life is in our hands…we need to give it shape. And then after life, our souls will be led to the best of places too…
So yes, I agree with your comments… Voices that tell you to stop it all and die, are not to be treated as evil. Instead, they need to be heard, but the reaction to these voices should be in bettering our LIVES, so that such voices don’t keep popping into our heads… Appreciating everything is an art, but it has its fruits too… One learns to handle things better, and thus is able to make peace with himself/herself and hence, with the world.
Thank you for your deep and insightful comments…they are very much appreciated and treasured! I am glad that towards the end of the poem, you felt some positivity in it (albeit in the darkest manner possible)
This said, hope you have a GORGEOUS and BRIGHT week ahead! 🙂 Take care…
Kavs, Loved reading it and thank you for putting it so beautifully… Though I would probably differ my version on the last para by giving in to the awakening 🙂 I just read what I feel inside every single day of my life but then again, there are reasons why we all live – I have my reasons but once fulfilled, hopefully I’ll be taken and that’ll be the end of this drama we call Life 🙂 Thank you for writting this…
I really appreciate and value your comments, Navdib… Thanks you so much for your kind words, and appreciation towards my work…
The last para here was more of a question on what should be done… ofcourse I know my answer… WAKE UP and GET GOING! I’VE GOT A LOVELY LIFE BEFORE ME! LIVE IT! 🙂
And I hope everybody wakes up with this bright feeling too…
This drama called LIFE needs tweaking, and ONLY WE can tweak it best! 😀
So…cheers to that… and have a GREAT week ahead!
I love the thought that created this. This is really creative. Nicely done..Cheers!
Thank you so much for your kind words of appreciation, E… I am very happy you liked the poem…
I thought that it would be okay to honor our darker thoughts too, at least once in a while 🙂
Hope you are having a fabulous time!
Dark and powerful. Good stuff Kavita. What inspired you?
Thanks, K!!! Glad you liked it…
The very fact that such thoughts crosses our minds once in a while, is what inspired me.. so I felt like honoring this negative thought as well… after all, it’s such thoughts that then give rise to better ones…
Cheers to that, and have a great week !!!
Kavita, I know this is not your spirit, but you have finely illustrated the feelings that so many have: folks in depression, people in war-torn areas, people in unconscionable poverty, people in prison, tortured by their own minds or the cuelty of others. What a good soul you are to illustrate their feelings, move us to compassion for their suffering. The poem is perfectly done and the art work is both stunning and shocking. Fine, wonderful work as always, Kavita. These are unfortunate facts of life we cannot, must not ignore.
I am very happy you saw the reason I wrote this poem… And am grateful to you for your kind and encouraging words… I really appreciate that, Jamie!
Yes, this poem was my way of bringing out the feelings of a tormented mind – who probably prefers death over life. We too sometimes go thru’ this phase (although not necessary with SUCH dark thoughts).. and it’s up to us how we plan on bouncing right back. This poem was to make us think about such souls, and feel for them… and with that, honor them by at least wanting to make our own lives better and worth living..
So, cheers to LIFE !!! And may these dark thoughts never invade our minds, and or make us put them in others’ minds either..
Have a beautiful August !!!
i read the poem and all the comments… yeah it hurts to read but at the same time it feels great coz this is how life is…
i added you on my blog roll…
love your writing..
viva la vida 😉
Aww… glad you liked the poem, Anky… and thank you soo much for adding me to your blogroll! That’s really very sweet of you…
The poem is just a stop-by on the dark side, to show the feelings that a tormented soul could have experienced..
Once again, thanks for the lovely comments, girl.. they are most appreciated!
Viva la Vida indeed!! Cheers, and have an awesome August! 🙂
This is a very good poem. It touched my heart and made me feel some of the pain in this while going through it. You are a very good poet and writer. Keep it up!!
Woohoo..thanks bro.. glad you liked it! It was a piece of fiction to me when I wrote it… but we all go through these weird feelings once in a while…
Have a fab weekend!! 🙂
This is wonderful way of expressing oneself.The pain and misery attached to it, the pain that shatters you soul is visible.
Love it..
Keep up the good work….
Thanks for the kind words of appreciation, Dakshima… It was an attempt on my part to bring out those feelings of disgust and misery that sometimes fill our minds (and the minds of many others as well)… I am happy you liked this form of expression…
Have a beautiful weekend!!!
Wow – this is an amazing read, so deep and meaningful.
You express despair and the complete void and emptyness so well and the fact that you’re such a happy person just illustrates your writing ability…and also empathy of others. There really are people out there who feel the pain you describe, and all we can do is pray for them and hope that their troubled souls find comfort.
As for YOU sweet lady, you bring a LOT of sunshine to a LOT of peoples’ lives!!! 😀 Keep writing because you are really very talented.
Chloe 😀 xx
Woohoo!!! I am so glad you saw the feeling that went into writing this one, Chloe… Yes, people go thru’ this phase once in a while.. We too get this feelings sometimes… So I thought I should bring them out! I think we really SHOULD appreciate all our feelings (even the bad ones) cuz they kinda give us reason to make our lives better! Did it make any sense? Well.. I am sure you know what I mean.. 🙂
Thank you (like a million times) for your generous words of appreciation and kindness girlie.. I really am flattered!
May you life be as green and happy as that cheery icon of yours 🙂
Have a lovely weekend!! (much love)
I totally agree with you – we need to experience the bad as well as the good in life , in order to know the difference. People do experience these emotions – and some more than others…I think that’s why I was brave enough to write about my depression, because I’m hoping that my words can sometimes speak out to others.
Have a great day my friend!
Chloe 😉 xx
Oh yea… we need to take those brave steps, and write down our experiences.. and by way of our writing, share our feelings too… cuz I too am pretty sure they do speak to others as well!
So…cheers to us… and may we keep writing! Yaayyy 🙂
Have a beautiful day yourself, dear friend…
I felt these words in the deepest parts of mind and heart. Very powerful. You seem to have captured a hidden door that the secrets Life holds. Your words paint it well.
Once again, thanks for getting into the soul and being of the poem, Enreal.. I really appreciate your empathy and compassion…
We do find ourselves in those doorways at times… outside which there are a few paths, which we have to choose from… And then, there are some people that OFTEN find themselves there… So I thought I honor this annoying/frustrating feeling as well…
Thanks for your kind words here… they mean a lot to me!
Have a fabulous weekend, my friend…
You always have such wonderful images with your posts! Awesome work!
-Weasel
Thanks a ton, W !!! This was a challenge, cuz when I was writing this, I wasn’t really going thru’ such feelings… but then, we have all been there some time… so, I simply had to write one! Glad you liked it… thanks again, friend..